


Rudolph

by midnightelite



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Poor James, This is kinda a crack fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:29:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28498341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightelite/pseuds/midnightelite
Summary: James finds a present from 'Lily' on the bed and can't wait to put it into action. Lily discovers the new gift and has a quite...different reaction.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Comments: 26
Kudos: 28





	Rudolph

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lilyevansJan30](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilyevansJan30/gifts), [MagicGirlinAMuggleWorld](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicGirlinAMuggleWorld/gifts), [deadptarmigan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadptarmigan/gifts).



> This is for @magic-girl-in-a-muggle-world, lilyevansJan30, and @deadwoodpecker, based on a conversation we were having earlier! 
> 
> Thanks, @theroomofreq, for beta-ing! I really appreciate it and you! <3
> 
> I hope everyone likes this, I was laughing as I wrote it!

James walked through the door of his shared apartment, a bit earlier than expected. The stillness of the house seemed unnatural. Sharing an apartment with Sirius, Remus, and Lily means that there's very rarely silence in the homey space. 

He made his way to his bedroom, sliding his jacket off along the way. Tossing it on a chair in the corner, he noticed a small box on the bed. As he got closer, he noticed a little note on top. 

_ James _

_ Wanna help me make the naughty list? _

_ Love,  _

_ Lily _

James's interest was piqued, he barely noticed the note was not in Lily's usual loopy script, but the excitement of what could lie within the package chased those concerns away. 

He carefully pulled the top open, moving the tissue paper to the sides to reveal an item he never thought he'd see. Images flashed through James's mind, and he could  _ not _ wait for Lily's return. 

* * *

Lily trudged up the stairs toward her apartment, exhausted from her shift at Mungo's. She saw one too many transfiguration accidents for her liking during her shift and was looking forward to a relaxing night with her fiance. 

Muttering unlocking charms under her breath, she entered her flat. Closing the door roughly behind her, she took a moment to take what felt like her first breath of the day. 

"James," Lily called, "Are you home?" She started heading toward her shared room with James. 

"I'm in here, Lils," a voice replied from her destination. The soft timbre of James's voice releasing some of the tension she brought home and decorating her face with the start of a smile. 

She pushed open the door, her eyes focused down as she started taking her coat off.

She groaned, her eyes raised as she started to speak. "I need a large glass of wine, and maybe a-," her coat was halfway off, her eyes moved up the bare calf of her fiance. His bare thigh. His reindeer g-string. James was standing next to the bed, the leg closest propped up at a ninety-degree angle, and a reindeer g-string covering his erection.

Lily's mouth was agape, her eyes locked on the red nose decorating James's thick member. The snout continuing down his length, stretching up to the eyes and antlers at his. She noted briefly that he could do with a larger size. 

Laughter built in her chest to a near painful degree, she tried to tamp it down as best she could, not wanting to offend her partner. "James, what are you wearing?" Some laughter filtered through, but she was impressed with what she held back. 

"Let's just say I got your package," James's voice deepened, he did a bit of a hip shimmy on the last word-causing the reindeer's nose to bob-, and the jerky action pushed Lily over the edge. The laughter burst forth, and she bent forward with the force of it. 

She went to clutch her abdomen, but her arms caught on the coat around her forearms. She saw his face start to fall and felt horrible, and she tried to stop the giggles. 

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry...but I have never seen that before...in my life. It was a shock, to say the least." Lily successfully put an end to the laughter, schooling her features to a hopefully neutral expression. She locked her gaze on his face. 

A frown tugged on the corners of James's mouth and pulled at her heartstrings. She dropped her jacket to the ground and closed the distance between them. 

Lily placed her hand gently against his cheek, her thumb smoothing down his frown. "I'm sorry, I promise you look really cute," she snapped the band of the g-string to punctuate her point, "I just wasn't expecting it." He gave her a disbelieving look, and she placed a chaste kiss on his lips. "I promise."

"Fine," he huffed. James leaned forward, pressing a loving kiss to her lips.

"I love you," Lily said meaningfully. A smile slowly worked its way onto James's face. 

"I love you, Lils," he replied happily. 

"Now what do you say we unwrap this package, Rudolph," she purred as she slid her finger along the waistband, and James burst out in laughter. Lily cut off his laugh with her lips, and James wrapped his arms tightly around her waist. 

They did a bit more than just unwrapping James's package, and Lily continued calling him Rudolph for the next two weeks. Sirius-the gifter of the reindeer undergarment-joined her in calling James the new nickname and enjoyed the retelling of the incident immensely. 

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed!


End file.
